The Heath Tournament
Fancy Dress Fives
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Ladder comes to Aldenham

Yea verily, on the 7th November, God (whoever he/she/it may be and whether or not the wearer of top hat, turban or veil) smiled upon The Aldenham Fives Club.

In an unprecedented moment, several members had been endowed with vision, energy and temporary organisational powers (yet to be demonstrated).

The spectre of the annual club dinner had been raised (razed would perhaps be a better description) - or was it the tri-annual or even quinque-annual dinner. Unfortunately the annals have long since been archived to cyberspace and the original participants mummified. We shall, alas, never know...........

A Consortium comprised of such eminent members as Josh Rose, Tim Shepherd and Paul Kendall, vociferously supported by Chris Cernuschi, had undertaken to arrange a fixture starting at 7.00pm on Tuesday 7 November, ending at Buon Amici (or was it Bona Lychee - your Editor cannot be certain due to a long-standing aural impediment) in the Ancient and Notorious City of St.Albans.

It was assumed in the absence of further data that this would be in the Year of our Lord (whoever he/she/it may be and whether wearer of school cap or cape with underpants outside of tights) Two Thousand and Six.

Further details would be made available on or around the 8th November......

We were reliably (?) informed that Women (ie Girls, Girlfriends, Old Ladies, Spouses, Partners, Tarts, Totty, Females of the Species, the Fairer Sex -whoever said they were fair- Better Halves, People Who Must Be Obeyed, Wives, Lovers, Lovies,
Mothers, Mums, Sweethearts, Grannies, Nannies, Babysitters, Au Pairs, Mistresses, Pieces of Fluff, Bits on the Side, Concubines, Houris, Belly, Lap and Pole Dancers) were to be excluded on the grounds of perfectly reasonable prejudice and discrimination. (To our eternal regret, we have as yet no female members....)

Anyone wishing to participate in this veritable feast of delight should firstly get permission from their respective Ladies, then file a request for inclusion with the nearest madman - in this case the Hon. Sec.- who would then decide what
to do with it all (the circular filing tray being an outstanding option).

NB: If any of the Organisers believed that this was an offer to do anything other than collect names, they could think again!

WELL……it actually happened. There are pictures to prove it. The participants had an excellent evening and some even remembered the fact – this could be a clue as to why no-one recalls when the previous dinner took place!